Before JJ opens her eyes, her senses tell her she’s not alone. Her nostrils fill with the distinct and wonderful scent of a man. A man who uses great smelling cologne at that. As if she really needed her sense of smell when her sense of touch is on overdrive. Her head’s resting on his chest, his bare chest. He’s strong, sturdy. His toned arm is snaked around her slim waist holding her close to him. His deep breathing blows hot breath on her forehead. Their legs are intricately and intimately intertwined and yes it’s skin lying against skin. They are both completely naked. Not that JJ’s complaining. Maybe it’s wrong for her to feel so comfortable in this man’s arms without knowing who it is or remembering how she ended up with him. Her subconscious already knows he’s not someone to fear though, she can trust him. 

Slowly opening her eyes, JJ blinks a few times trying to clear her vision. Finding it to be a futile attempt, she closes them again and beings rubbing her thumb across his chest. If only they could lie here all day, wrapped in each others arms. That sounds more pleasing than getting up and facing the day and or work. JJ tries to force back to sleep and really in this man’s arms it should be easy, really easy. He’s warm, strong and yet soft. She’s comfortable with him and honestly she could lie with him all day. Her mind has other plans though and it won’t shut off now that she’s awake. With a nearly silent sigh, JJ turns her head and kisses his chest. Slowly she turns and shifts her body as she kisses, with her eyes closed, her way up from his chest to his neck to his jawline.  She’s nearing his lips when she pulls back slightly and flutters her eyes open. The face in front of her is the last one she ever expected to see and it’s a miracle she doesn’t scream right then and there. Instead she’s frozen in her spot hovering above him which isn’t much better than screaming because if he wakes up this looks so bad on her. Slowly, but purposefully, she untangles herself from him and flops onto her back on the other side of the bed. She’s afraid to move, afraid to breathe. This cannot be happening. 

Pulling the covers over her face, JJ stifles a groan. The stranger next to her isn’t a stranger to her by any means. In fact she’s seen him nearly everyday at work for the past eight or so years. It’s none other than her boss, Aaron Hotchner. 

Before her panic can set it and take over, the questions come flooding. The first one being, how in the hell did they end up….sleeping together? They would never….and yet the current situation proved otherwise. Hell, she had been curled against him, legs intertwined, naked with him. Trying to deny they had sex together would be some of the biggest bullshit ever-it was more than obvious that they had. Next question, why did they sleep together? What did they do last night? Stifling another groan, JJ runs her hands over her face and shakes her head. She’s careful not to open her eyes and look next to her. Slowly, her memory returns to her and she almost wishes it hadn’t. 

Read More

They split up. It was a mistake. JJ knew deep her in gut it was a mistake. From the very second he suggested it and took off she knew. She knew, she knew, she knew. She said nothing. They were both agents but he was the profiler, she was just a liaison. If he thought it was a good idea, the best idea, to split up who was she to argue? Yes, it was against protocol. Yes, they were typically instructed to wait for back up. Nevertheless, he persisted reminding her that the team would be looking for them soon. Reminding her how there wasn’t time to wait, they had to act before he got away. She trusted and to listened to him, ignoring the feeling deep in her gut. Not that he gave her much of an option, after merely suggesting it he took off towards the fields. She tried to remind herself of this, tried to somehow justify their actions but it didn’t work. There was nothing justifiable about his death. Due to her mistake, they were now looking at his dead body. Not his mistake, not their mistake, but her mistake. Spencer Reid was dead. It was all her fault. There was no one else to blame. It was her fault, there was no way around it. JJ already knew this. Hell, she’d discussed it with Morgan. 

“You think Reid and I should’ve stayed together in the barn, don’t you?” She challenged him. 

“JJ, go get some rest.” Derek instructs not wanting to deal with whatever was going on. 

“I can tell that’s what you’re thinking, so…” JJ instigated. 

“I just want to get Reid home and safe,” Derek replied trying to get her to focus again. 

“But if I had his back…li-like I was supposed to…he’d be here now.” JJ points out. 

“JJ, what do you want from me?” Derek finally relents. 

“I just-I want someone to tell me the truth.” JJ admits. Why can’t someone tell her when they all know it? 

“The truth is, one of you is here and one of you isn’t. You gotta figure the rest out for yourself.” Derek comments before leaving the room. 

It didn’t matter that he wouldn’t come out and say it. She heard his comment loud and clear. She needed to “figure the rest out,” and she already had. He only confirmed it. It was her fault Reid was dead. Everyone knew it. Everyone blamed her for it. They all saw the videos. They watched as Tobias, er technically his father, threw Reid to the floor and his gasps filled the air. He was nearly dead right there but then Tobias revived him. When he’s given the chance to chose one of them to die, JJ’s sure it’s going to be her. She deserves it after all, she’s the one who got him into that mess. She should be there not him. But when he speaks he says Hotch’s name and JJ can barely contain her shock. Why Hotch? Why not her? Hotch has done nothing wrong. It’s moments after Hotch’s been chosen and they’re putting the pieces together. He’s giving them hints to save him. He doesn’t want her there he just wants to make it out alive. For the first time since they’ve split up JJ feels hope fill her. They can save him. 

But they arrive too late. The bodies are still warm but they’re still too late. Gunshot wounds pierce both of their chests. The entire area smells of must, leaves, mud, and now blood. The darkness of the night seems darker to JJ. They’ve lost a friend. A colleague. A family member. A light. 

JJ drops to her knees beside him, tears spill over while they pool in the eyes of her teammates. “Spencer…Spence,” she cries softly at first. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she murmurs stroking his hair. “This should’ve been me not you,” she whispered into his hairline. Her fingers thread in the head of hair she used to love to mess up so much. The tears keep streaming and her body starts to shake. “Spence, please. Please, no. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave us. I’m sorry! Spence, Spence, Spence!” She echoes his name over and over. He can’t be gone. He’s Reid he can’t just be gone. They need him. How could this have happened? How could she let it happen? “Let me switch places with him, let me switch places!” She screams up to the sky before collapsing on top of him. It’s a heartbreaking scene to witness and none of her teammates are quite sure what to do so they look away with tear filled eyes wishing this was some sort of bad dream. Anything but reality. Except it is. Their friend is dead, never coming back. 

Read More

The room is deadly silent. For hours it remains this way until people file in. How did they get here? How were they notified? She doesn’t know nor does she care. They’re the least of her worries. Their presence doesn’t even phase her. Everything is moving in slow motion. She can see several pairs of feet walking about the room. There are sirens going off outside the window but they sound miles away. The voices in the room are muffled and hard to distinguish. The only thing that’s perfectly clear is the blood seeping through her hands. It’s so red and so warm. Who knew blood could be that rich? The blood is so vibrant and so bright in comparison to the dullness surrounding her. Everything else is in the shadows, the blood is the focus. Her hands start shaking and the blood droplets trickle down faster. 

“JJ, what happened?” A voice calls to her. There’s a hand on her shoulder, a sturdy hand. A concerned face looks down at her. She doesn’t move. Derek sighs. 

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Arriving home, JJ’s exhausted. Work’s been killer lately and she’s working herself into the ground. She can barely keep up with everything so she’s thankful when her mom offers to watch the kids for a while. Not only can JJ relax now, she can spend some much needed time with her girlfriend, Emily. They’ve been together for a while now, so long that JJ’s starting to lose track. The team knows about them as does JJ’s family and no one’s given them grief about it. It hasn’t been a perfect relationship, they still have times when they fight but they’ve never broke up. They always fix whatever’s wrong. Lately with work pulling them apart they haven’t really had a chance to be together and they’re fighting more than usual. Tonight is just the kind of night they need. 

Sliding the key into the door JJ goes to open the door but it doesn’t budge. She tries it again without a change. Confused, JJ leans into the door trying to force it open but it still won’t budge. She tries one more time, heaving the door open slightly. “Emily!” JJ calls through the crack. “Emily move whatever’s in front of the door and let me in,” JJ sighs. Tonight is not the night for Emily to act like a child, JJ’s in no mood. “Emily,” JJ tries again pressing against the door. It opens more but not quite enough. Giving it another shove, JJ slides her slim frame inside as she hears glass break. Looking around she notices there’s a table in front of the door and at the other end of the table there’s a broken vase. No doubt it broke from her pushing on the door. Confused about why the table was there in the first place, JJ bends to gather the broken vase. Standing up she hears a shot and feels a whoosh go over her shoulder and past her ear. The bullet hits the wall and JJ whips her head to follow it. Slowly she looks to the source knowing full well that, that missed shot happened on purpose. It’s a warning for her. 

“Emily?” JJ asks tilting her head. She’s trying to remain calm and ignore the fact her girlfriend just fired at her. 

Emily’s sitting in a chair facing the door. Her glock is raised, aimed precisely at JJ now instead of the spot behind her. She says nothing, her brown eyes now cold and trained on JJ. Her attempt to keep JJ out didn’t work as planned. 

“Em, talk to me. What’s going on?” JJ tries again stepping further into the house. Mistake number two. 

————————————————————————————————————

Read More